Fibromyalgia, parenting, love and loss

Posts tagged ‘Facebook’

Why did I get out of bed this morning?

Today’s been just lovely (she writes in her best sarcastic tone).  I discovered that my boyfriend asked that his schedule be changed from 8-6 pm to 11-9 pm, which means that we will get even less time together.  Supposedly it is so he can better watch our daughter when I go back to work (I’m on maternity leave).  No matter what the reason, he should have talked to me about first.  He does not even understand why I’m angry!  Ugh…

And after that lovely start to my day, I got a nasty Facebook message from my ex-husband‘s nasty girlfriend.  I’ve never once emailed or messaged her, and I’ve tried to be civil, even friendly over the past 6 months or so with my ex so that we can all just be peaceful.  I thought his girlfriend was on board with that.  Apparently not.  She literally messaged me completely out of the blue and then insulted me based on something on my Facebook profile.  I listed “Unfaithful” as one of my favorite movies, and she said that was perfect and that she can’t wait until the day my kids become wise to my ways.  Now, she said this as a dig because I had an affair after 15 years of being faithful.  My earlier posts go into this, but in a nutshell, I was not in love with my husband and it was time to move on.  Painful but true.  I’ll never justify having an affair.  I was wrong.  However, for her to out of the blue, after she’s been with him 2 years and we’ve never communicated personally, message me and insult me is just crazy.  Did I mention she has emotional/mental issues?  Well, she does.   So, I suppose that’s contributing to her outburst but was unprovoked and I just did not need it.

After that, I got a message from Rich (my boyfriend’s) ex.  Now, I asked for this I have to say in all honesty.  She dropped me as a Facebook friend and I was curious as to why so I asked.  She’s become born-again, and so she proceeded to message me and tell me R and I should “quit shacking up” and be proper role models for our kids.  Mind you, she openly cheated on R with various men, was a meth head for years and considered letting her child go into state custody.  But she’s lecturing me now that she’s supposedly holy?  Please.  I may not be a born again Christian, but I’ve done my best to live an ethical life.  Yes, I cheated on my husband.  But-do 15 years of being faithful to someone who I was in no way sexually attracted to or in love with not count for anything?  Aside from that indiscretion, I do my best to live a moral life.  I consider other feelings before my own.  I try to live in peace.  I help people in need.  I love my kids, provide for them and have made them my world.  I’ve hung in there with my boyfriend though our struggles.  Am I perfect?  No way.  Not even close.  Do I aim for enlightenment?  Yes.  Always.

Spiritually, I believe that when negative things enter our life it’s because we attracted it.  Boy, I sure have attracted some horrible stuff today!!!  I need to stop what I have been doing, clearly.  I honestly cannot take this negativity.  It’s painful, and I got off my depression meds when I discovered I was pregnant, so I’m not feeling especially equipped to deal with this.

That’s all for today.  Hope you aren’t sorry you read this.  I just needed to get this off my shoulders.  Peace to all of you.